The Future

Like the majority of my family, I have no idea what I want to do! My dad still doesn't know and he's been working his entire life!
I was convinced I wanted to teach when I was about 8 years old but I realised that after 13 years of education kids can get nasty, I kind of put myself off that career. To be honest I don't really fancy spending my entire life in school regardless of my position in it. 
Since joining secondary school I was determined to be a fashion designer, just like every other girl has once in her life! GCSE textiles destroyed that dream of mine... 
More recently I've considered writing as I enjoyed English and wrote some pretty impressive short stories (I don't believe in modesty, if you're proud you should be able to show the world) which my teachers gave me very positive feedback on. But as I tried to write a story I found it's harder than it looks. I can imagine every detail but writing it out isn't as simple, my sentences don't flow and my grammar is awful. I really thought I'd have inherited some of my dad's author/English teacher genes but I guess I just inherited his general creativity.
I played the trumpet from the age of 7 and passed at grade 5, when I got braces I found it extremely difficult, painful and frustrating to play but I got no sympathy and nobody really understood the effect it had on me. I was very hormonal around that time and it wasn't only physical stress my braces/trumpet combo caused but it made me emotional to think that braces had effected something I really enjoyed in such a negative way. I reluctantly sold my trumpet which meant after my braces were removed I couldn't pick up from where I left off although I do tinker with trumpets whenever I can. I can never imagine me having a musical career because I'm just not that into music but I will never forget the feeling of standing on stage surrounded by other jazz musicians feeling like a rock star! 
And now... applications for university are everywhere and prospectuses are piling up but I have NO idea what kind of course I'd want to take nevermind which university. It's a really stressful time of year for A Level students as people have to take time off school for open days etc. To be honest university has never appealed to me, although the 'student life' does! Being a drunk, lazy slob for three years and it being socially acceptable does seem pretty appealing. But alongside the £30,000 debt and degree I have no enthusiasm for I think I'll let that one go. I know I'm not alone in this and I do get sympathy from many customers at Heaths who ask about my personal life. My favourite quote is from a customer who said "I'm 40 and still have no idea what I want to do" but she always smiles and greets me warmly and that's my ultimate goal. If you're happy there's nothing you're doing wrong. I will be perfectly satisfied with a 9-5 office job as long as I'm HAPPY. 
The other day my friend asked me about where I think I'd be in 20 years time. I had no response, sure as a girl I dreamt about my dream job, my dream wedding and my perfect family but they were all fantasy. Now I'm in the 'real world' I value happiness over anything else in the world. I don't worry about the future I just do what I love, all the time and that's what keeps me smiling. 
My dad's advice for university is "do something because you love it or because you have a plan." It's some of the best advice I've heard since the pressure to get the grades and get accepted can be overwhelming and can distort the reality behind committing to three more years of (expensive) education. 

And on a more depressing note, who knows if we even have a future? As I once read: "why does the current me diet miserably to satisfy the future me?" By this I mean don't do something which makes you miserable because you THINK it will pay off. Do stuff you love and it WILL pay off.

Aaaand, don't think too much... "never give a shit".

Education Alongside Work

So this post is more of a rant than anything but it's in my head so I'm gonna say it. 
I have two jobs, both of which I enjoy; if I didn't I wouldn't work them both! Then school are saying we need to focus on our A-levels which means limiting work hours to less than however many a week (let's say 10). I work a guaranteed 8 hours weekly and up to as many as 18 a week! I'm extremely motivated at work, not by the money but by the sense of achievement and independence I get from working. I'd hate to not be working, I feel it'd make me lazy (lazier) and dependant on other people. 
I don't earn a great deal of money but I don't spend it on many things so I do appreciate it. But... it baffles me how school expect me to pay £30 in the first week for textbooks and materials (a day's wage) and £20 for a compulsory school trip and £10 for whatever simply because the department's 'broke'. THEN they're saying we need to get some community action for our CV's (10 hours of UNPAID work) and work experience in the necessary field (also unpaid) yet we can't possibly use our current jobs for this! 
Now I'm in Sixth Form I need to spend £10 a week on bus fare (to be truthful my parents are kind enough to pay this for me) which believe it or not doesn't magically appear in my purse every Monday morning! 
I have no access to 'the Bank of Mum and Dad' and nor do I want it. If I want to spend money on luxuries I'm going to earn it myself. My jobs have helped me become more responsible and mature and although requesting us to spend all our spare time studying may lead to great results it deprives us of the real work experience we're destined for after uni. 
I am very proud of the fact that my boss said that me and my brother are very 'self sufficient' which I believe we are because we have been brought up and taught that if you want something you have to earn it.
I remember a long time ago my friend received a £5 weekly allowance so I pleaded to my parents for one because I was so jealous and I got one but not for very long. I'm now so grateful for my parent's reluctance to handing money out to me. I did occasionally ask for money and received it but only if I was in desperate need of it.

I wrote this blog after having worked 8 and a half hours and I'm working 8 tomorrow... just a bit of context! Oh yeah and it's pay day so think of all the textbooks I can buy now! :)

ps. sorry for the aggression honestly I'm lovely!